When Not to Homeschool

In the second of his 2026 webinars on homeschooling, Shaykh Ismail Kamdar takes an unexpected angle for a homeschooling advocate: when not to homeschool. Homeschooling, he says, isn’t for everybody or every situation. It is a decision you can revisit week by week or year by year, weighing benefits and harms as life changes. If a good school opens nearby, or your work situation shifts, it’s fine to change course, and in most countries where homeschooling is legal, children can re-enter school at an age-appropriate level after a placement assessment. He stresses that his list is personal opinion drawn from experience, not a rulebook, and that exceptional families may homeschool well despite these challenges.

1. When it is driven purely by fear. Some fear is normal: no parent wants their child in bad company. But when fear is the only motive, parents may try to shield children from everything, leaving them unprepared for adult life. He recalls a classmate who joined his class at 14 or 15 after an extremely sheltered homeschooling and had no idea he had reached puberty, because no one had ever explained it. Around ages 10 to 12, children need honest, Islamic guidance about their bodies and growing up. “Your job is to prepare your children for the world, not to protect them from it”: protect them when they’re young, then gradually give more freedom and responsibility.

2. When you’re overwhelmed by life’s trials. Grief, depression, or severe financial strain can make it impossible to give children the attention they need. He shares that during his own very dark period, he enrolled his children in an online school so their learning could continue while he recovered. Alternatives like online schooling, a tutor, or a year or two of school are not failures.

3. When it is illegal. Laws vary widely, from strict registration and set curricula to flexible portfolio-based approaches. Learn the rules before you begin, and never risk fines or worse. Where it’s illegal, choose the best school available, consider moving, or, if you have influence, advocate for change, as parents have done in many countries.

4. When you lack family and community support. Homeschooling is a decade-long commitment, and it takes a village. At minimum, both parents should be on board and involved. His own children learned from their mother, grandmother, and many community teachers. He notes that modern parenting, especially motherhood, feels so heavy partly because we’ve placed everything on one person, whereas Islam envisions grandparents, uncles, aunts, and the community sharing the load. Don’t let homeschooling destroy your mental health.

5. When you don’t know what you’re doing and can’t learn. Most parents learn on the job through courses and books, but some simply can’t teach certain subjects, and no resource helps. A parent who figures it out may outperform a school, but a school will outperform a parent with no plan. If a child still can’t read at 10 without a learning difficulty, something needs to change.

6. When you lack the patience or temperament. Some parents lose their temper often, or become harsh and hurtful when children struggle to understand. He has seen children’s confidence crushed by harsh homeschooling. Home must be a place of love and safety. Every parent can grow in patience, but if a parent truly can’t, children may be better off in school for their wellbeing and for the relationship.

7. When your children won’t cooperate. Don’t give up too quickly: one mother quit after two days. Children coming out of school need about six months to adjust to a new routine and to seeing a parent as a teacher. But if a year passes with no engagement, ask why: is it the teaching, too little social life, too much strictness? Teenagers especially may want to experience school for themselves, and some families homeschool until around grade nine and then send children to school to finish.

8. When it could seriously harm your child’s future. In some countries, homeschooled children struggle to access university or good jobs, or face social stigma. If homeschooling is leaving a child unable to make friends or function socially, that must be addressed. He adds that social struggles are now common among schooled children too, after the pandemic and early smartphones, so school isn’t automatically the fix.

For each situation, he offers solutions: fix your intentions and learn from other homeschooling families; use temporary alternatives during hard times; homeschool within the law; seek support; keep learning; work on patience; give children time to adjust; and plan ahead for every scenario. He closes as a firm advocate of homeschooling, which he considers the best option when the time, skills, vision, and situation are there. But when they aren’t, it is “not the end of the world”: send your children to school and supplement their learning with after-school or weekend classes.