Reflection Summary

Handling Difficult Teenagers

Sheikh Belal Assaad

Islamic scholar and speaker
A teenager once mocked the call to prayer, loudly, in front of the Prophet ﷺ. Instead of punishing him, the Prophet ﷺ praised his voice, taught him the adhan, and made him the mu’adhin of Makkah. Sheikh Belal Assaad tells the story of Abu Mahdhura and draws out lessons for parents of teens: hold back harsh judgment, and find and use your teenager’s talents so they feel valued.

At a Glance

The Teen Who Mocked the Adhan

Abu Mahdhura, about 16, loudly mocked the call to prayer near the Prophet ﷺ.

Mercy Instead of Punishment

The Prophet ﷺ sent the others home without a harsh word and smiled at him.

He Saw a Talent, Not Just a Problem

He praised the boy’s voice and taught him the adhan.

Hatred Turned Into Love

The boy returned, embraced Islam, and became the mu’adhin of Makkah.

Teen Brains Are Still Developing

Sheikh Belal notes that the prefrontal cortex, involved in judgment and decision-making, continues developing into the mid-20s.

Find and Use Their Gifts

Give teenagers meaningful ways to use their talents so they feel valued.

The Reflection

Sheikh Belal tells the story of a teenage companion to show how parents and communities can better care for their teenagers. The young man was known as Abu Mahdhura, a respectful nickname. The Arabs, he explains, often gave young people mature names of honor to help raise them into adulthood. Still, Abu Mahdhura had all the traits of a teenager. Sheikh Belal notes that the front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, which handles decision-making, judgment, and motivation, continues developing until around age 25.

Abu Mahdhura was about 16 and not yet Muslim, living in Makkah after the Muslims had returned to the city. Although the Prophet ﷺ had treated his former enemies with mercy, some people still held hatred toward him and Islam, often based on little knowledge, much like some attitudes toward Muslims today. Abu Mahdhura particularly disliked the adhan. One day, walking with a group of friends his age, they heard the call to prayer and began mocking it, mimicking it and making noises. His voice was the loudest and clearest of all. They didn’t realize the Prophet ﷺ was nearby.

The Prophet ﷺ sent for the boys. Standing before him, Abu Mahdhura couldn’t even look at his face, and he was sure they would be punished, or worse. The Prophet ﷺ asked which of them had the loudest voice, and his friends all pointed to him. The Prophet ﷺ let the others go without a single harsh word. Then, to Abu Mahdhura’s surprise, he smiled and told him his voice was impressive: he had a talent.

The Prophet ﷺ gave him a small bag of silver coins, a gesture that suggested he had work in mind for him, and asked him to repeat the words of the adhan after him, in that same strong voice. Line by line, Abu Mahdhura learned the entire call to prayer. Then the Prophet ﷺ gently placed his hand on the boy’s forehead, passed it over his face and chest, and made dua: “May Allah bless you, and make you a blessing.”

Abu Mahdhura left and reflected on what had happened. The man he had hated most in the world became the one he loved most. He returned, declared his faith, and asked whether the coins meant he was being offered a job. The Prophet ﷺ confirmed it and appointed him the mu’adhin of Makkah, the one who calls the adhan in the city, a role he carried for the rest of his life and for which he is remembered throughout Islamic history.

Sheikh Belal draws two lessons among many. First, the Prophet ﷺ didn’t judge or scold him; he understood he was a teenager still learning. Second, he recognized and employed his talent, and did it publicly, so the young man felt valued. Parents, relatives, and teachers can do the same: look for a skill in a teenager, even one that seems silly, and give it a meaningful outlet. Everyone has a talent, he says; find it, bring it out, and put it to good use, so that young people feel valuable and special.

Key Ideas

Try It at Home

Pause Before Reacting

When your teen does something wrong, take a breath and remember they are still learning.

Name One Talent Out Loud

Tell your teen specifically what you admire about a skill they have.

Redirect, Don’t Just Restrict

Look for ways to channel energy or interests into something positive rather than simply banning them.

Give a Real Role

Invite your teen to lead something, like planning a family outing, helping at the masjid, or teaching a younger sibling.

Praise in Front of Others

Mention your teen’s strengths to relatives or friends where they can hear it.

Questions to Reflect On

There are no right or wrong answers here, just space to think about your own family.

  1. When my teen misbehaves, is my first reaction to judge, or to understand?

  2. What talents does my teenager have that I may be overlooking?

  3. Is there a behavior that frustrates me which could actually be redirected into a strength?

  4. Does my teen have any real role or responsibility where they feel valued?

  5. Does my teenager know that I notice and value their strengths?

What Worked for You?

Every family is different. If you’ve tried something that made a difference in your family, we’d love to hear about it.