The goal isn’t simply to manage today’s behavior. It’s to raise a child who gradually becomes responsible, capable, and grounded in the values you hope will guide them long after childhood.
Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home encourages parents to take a longer view. Instead of asking only, “How do I stop this behavior?” parents can also ask, “What can my child learn through this experience?” That shift can turn everyday mistakes and conflicts into opportunities to build responsibility, problem-solving, and self-control.
Underlying this approach is the parent-child relationship itself. The authors place particular importance on nurturing a strong bond between parents and children as the foundation for lasting parental influence.
The immediate parenting problem and the long-term parenting goal aren’t always the same. Stopping an unwanted behavior may solve today’s problem, but parenting also involves asking what a child can learn from the experience. A difficult moment can sometimes become an opportunity to practice responsibility, patience, problem-solving, or another skill that will matter long after the immediate problem has passed.
Am I trying only to make this problem disappear, or is there something my child can learn from it?
Children won’t become capable simply by being told what they did wrong. When appropriate, they can participate in putting things right, thinking through what happened, and considering what they might do differently next time. The parent still provides guidance, but the child gradually becomes an active participant in solving problems rather than only the recipient of correction.
What could my child do, not just hear from me, that would help them grow through this mistake?
Parents are raising someone who will eventually make decisions without them standing nearby. That changes how we think about successful discipline. Immediate obedience may sometimes be necessary, but the larger goal is helping children gradually develop judgment, responsibility, self-control, integrity, and other qualities they will need as adults.
What qualities am I hoping my child will carry into adulthood, and does the way I’m responding right now help develop them?
As children grow, parents cannot rely indefinitely on control. The relationship itself becomes increasingly important. A strong parent-child bond can create the trust and connection through which guidance continues even as children become more independent and encounter stronger influences outside the home.
Am I building the kind of relationship my child will still want to turn toward when I can no longer simply tell them what to do?
Acknowledge your child’s disappointment while keeping the boundary: “I know you’re disappointed. The answer is still no, but I’m happy to talk about why.”
Before responding, consider asking yourself what you want your child to learn from this particular situation, not only what behavior you want to stop.
IF YOU'D LIKE TO REFLECT A LITTLE FURTHER
No single parenting approach will work identically for every child or family. Age, temperament, developmental differences, neurodiversity, family circumstances, and the seriousness of a particular behavior can all affect what an appropriate response looks like.
Treat the ideas in this resource as invitations to reflect rather than rules that must be applied perfectly. Parents may find some approaches especially useful while adapting others to the needs of their own family.
By Noha Alshugairi & Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine
Book · Izza Publishing · 2017
Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home brings together Islamic parenting values and principles from Positive Discipline. The authors organize the book around foundational parenting ideas, practical Positive Discipline tools, different stages of child development, and contemporary issues facing Muslim families.
A central theme is helping children become responsible and capable while nurturing a strong parent-child relationship. The book is intended for parents, caregivers, and educators seeking practical approaches to parenting within an Islamic framework.
Primary topic: Faith & Identity
Also explores: Emotional & Mental Well-Being, Parent-Child Communication, Everyday Parenting
Explore the original book →ValueOurKids is not affiliated with the creator or publisher unless specifically stated. This page highlights selected ideas and reflections inspired by the resource and is not intended to replace the original work. We encourage readers to explore the original resource directly.
45 min · In the third part of his series “Our Ways,” Sheikh Ali Hammuda completes his list…
Explore → Go Deeper · Faith & IdentityA faith-centered guide to nurturing a strong inner Islamic identity in children, with ideas about noticing creation and the relationships that shape a child.
Explore → What Worked · BedtimeBedtime had become a lengthy struggle, so a visual checklist was introduced to streamline the process. Over time,…
Explore →