Reflection Summary
Sheikh Belal Assaad
Sheikh Belal begins by reminding listeners that, in his understanding of the Quranic message, no person was created accidentally or without purpose.
Sheikh Belal offers a three-part way of thinking about qadar: what happens to you, what arises inside you, and what happens because of the choices you make.
Sheikh Belal points to hurtful comments, gossip, social media, and negative inner thoughts as places where messages of worthlessness can take hold.
Only Allah is described as perfect, releasing people from an impossible standard for themselves or their children.
Sheikh Belal points to Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum, the blind Companion, and recounts reports of the meaningful roles he continued to serve despite his blindness.
Sheikh Belal opens with a claim worth repeating to a discouraged child or to yourself: in his understanding of the Quranic message, no person was created accidentally or without purpose, but was “purposefully and deliberately chosen,” down to the earliest moment of their creation, with Allah described as taking pride in that creation in front of the angels. It is offered as a direct answer to the feeling of being random, extra, or unwanted.
From there, the talk offers a framework for sorting out what a person actually controls. Sheikh Belal offers a three-part way of thinking about qadar: what happens to you, circumstances outside your control; what arises inside you, thoughts and feelings that come unbidden; and what happens because of the choices you make. That middle layer is used to explain why an intrusive thought like “I’m worthless” is not automatically a true verdict on a person’s value. It can simply be a thought that shows up, one a person doesn’t have to accept as fact.
Sheikh Belal points to hurtful comments, gossip, social media, and negative inner thoughts as places where messages of worthlessness can take hold, connecting these to a Quranic discussion of whispers meant to cause grief. It also releases people from an impossible standard by pointing out that perfection was never expected of anyone; only Allah is described as perfect.
Sheikh Belal points to Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum, the blind Companion, and recounts reports of the meaningful roles he continued to serve despite his blindness. The talk closes on a practical, repeatable exercise: deliberately counting blessings, on the reasoning that a person who actually sat down and tried to count every blessing in their life would find it impossible, offered as the antidote to a mind stuck on what’s missing.
When your child voices a self-worth thought, help them name it as a thought that showed up rather than a fact about who they are.
Ask where a hard thought is coming from, a specific app, a specific comment, a specific comparison, so it becomes visible instead of invisible.
Use it with a child who’s discouraged by something they can’t do, and ask what they can still offer.
Start a nightly habit of naming three specific blessings as a family, especially during a discouraging season.
There are no right or wrong answers here, just space to think about your own family.
Do I ever talk to myself in ways I wouldn’t let my child talk about themselves?
When my child says something like “I’m not good at anything,” do I treat it as fact, or can I help them see it as a passing thought?
Where is comparison showing up most in my child’s life right now?
Am I, without meaning to, holding my child, or myself, to a standard of perfection nobody could actually meet?
When did I last sit down and count specific blessings with my child, out loud, instead of just saying “be grateful”?
Every family is different. If you’ve tried something that made a difference in your family, we’d love to hear about it.
More reflections that may help you think about this from another angle.
